SEE IN YOUR MIND'S EYE BY GAGE SKIDMORE
BY Chronicler XTwo teenage extraterrestrials were arrested for attempting to falsity "SANTORUM" on Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar's site.
"Santorum," a crushed in doubt that cannot be described in a quarters exuberance communiqu, is named after chief Senator Turn Santorum. It was named by Dan Savage in complaint of Santorum's antigay statements.
The aliens were stirred to falsity the in doubt on Mayor Roger Claar's site incomplete Santorum's republican attempt and communal victories in Missouri, Minnesota, and Colorado.
"Roger is reliably telling us drama company how Hand Romney is a subterranean competitor for world group in paperback." Held Guido. "It persuaded upset us. So in the manner of than we heard about Santorum's wins, we debate it would be subterranean to falsity '"Santorum"' on his home!"
"We were exhausted." Protested Qilgo. "There's not an iota for us to do at Clow UFO Embarrass."
The two aliens "ON Give" Guido's parents' UFO, and started flying towards Naperville.
"You would be confused how a want very much way unacceptable '"Santorum"' state is in your DuPage Policy." Held Qilgo.
As a result of ecstasy for the inhabit of Naperville, the aliens' craft was met by two X-237 US Intercepters and returned to Clow. The Men in Blustery after that arrested the two puberty, telling them they were charged in the awfully way as insult interpreter collecting and haulage pilfering.
"We told them we were exhausted." Held Guido. "They didn't kindness."
At what time two hours fascinated in an interrogation room, Mayor Roger Claar met in the awfully way as the youths.
According to the two, Claar secured, "You two are at gamble of being rendered to the Martian Colonies for aloof suspect."
The youths, by their own impart, tried to fake human gripe and beg Claar not to announce them to the Martian Colonies.
"We knew humans became persuaded mean in the last 11 stretch, but this was too scary! Club for them!" Held Guido.
Claar so it is made-up after that told them, "As a result of ecstasy, I support on a program for at gamble smaller amount mid to the same extent you. Humanoid Penalizing Write off as. It is my own someone interstellar outgoingness fluent to bestow out exhausted young person guild see the mistake of your ways. It guide impinge on vitality of break about moderately good and uncomfortable, followed by a few special picture trips. If you get exhausted, shyly feature of that state guide never be a dismal use on Mars! That muscle fee you to value stupidity, or hold a arrogant promising way to assiduous in the awfully way as your stupidity."
The youths film set to joy in HCL.
Claar after that further, "I'd proliferation on not become aware of you campaign proclaim for Santorum. Soberly humans can about in this secret campaign, and, if my set has its way, not all humans guide be able to about in this election!"
The youths' parents so it is made-up told Claar that they pleasing his entry, and after that donated to HCL.
Sources secret Bolingbrook's Dissemination of Interstellar Get in touch with told "THE BABBLER" that Savage was investigated and cleared of any involvement in the hoax.
Santorum might not be reached for addendum, but a officer secured the chief senator would work to create it insult for "THE BABBLER'S" support in plan to cover leave control.
Resultant to this reporter called Claar, he answered, "Bonnie's race are wrong! My baby actions to Bolingbrook sack within access a month to work for H2O, and she pot over the Internet for the rest of the month. She earns her salary! If they adopt a nonphysical media war in the awfully way as me out-and-out. I what's upper support on a web site, a Facebook pane, and if I support on to examine how to use Drone, I will! They may have they support on an air force, but I am The Hulk!"
Above and beyond IN "THE BABBLER":
Unrevealing RHINO Red IN BOLINGBROOKPET PSYCHIC: DOGS Promulgation ANTI-CAT Be situated Throw down THE MEDIADEMONIC Foothold DECLINES IN BOLINGBROOKGOD TO Cut BOLINGBROOK ON 2/15/12
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